用力踢 Kick.
我先载你上班 Okay, so, I'll drop you off at work,
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去拿干洗的衣服 Go to the dry-cleaners,
然后带罗伯森一家人去看公寓 And then take the robertsons to go see some condos.
抱歉 计划是什么 哦 不要忘了 Sorry. What's the plan? Oh, don't forget --
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我们得把垃圾油倒了 We have to take the fryer grease to the dump.
嗯 前面的 Um, hello?
篮球赛呢 Basketball game?
对的 Right.
先垃圾站 然后餐馆 So, dump, restaurant,
干洗店 篮球赛 公寓 Cleaners, basketball game, condos.
我需要去凯马特超市
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初来乍到 第二季 第三集
快点 在我冲澡的时候你们把早饭吃完 Hurry up and eat breakfast while I shower.
我可不想工作迟到 I don't want to be late for work.
别让他们拿早餐拼脏话 Make sure they don't turn their breakfast into curse words.
咪 咪
它自己滑进我勺子里来的 我发誓 That just floated onto my spoon -- I swear.
翻译 小伍
放轻松 爸爸不会计较的 Relax. I'm a cool dad.
翻译 方黑羊
男孩们 你们知道我们的结婚纪念日快到了吗 Boys, you know how our anniversary is coming up?
-不知道 -当然知道 No. Of course.
翻译 方块
第十二年 亚麻婚 12 years -- the silk and linen anniversary.
我终于找到给你们妈妈的完美礼物了 I finally figured out the perfect present for mom.
校对 Bunny
你每年都这么说 You say that every year.
为什么我想要看着一束钱凋谢 Why do I want to watch money wilt?
很好奇你是怎么花钱让陌生人给我们做饭 Interesting how you'll pay a stranger to cook for us,
而你却希望我当免费劳工 But you expect me to do it for free.
很漂亮 Beautiful.
是不是还有一个标牌写着 Does it also come with a sign that says,
割了我的喉咙 带上它 "Cut my throat and take this"?
我承认 你们妈妈很难满足 I admit, your mother's difficult to shop for.
时轴 Bunny
但是我意识到自己的错误 But I realized my mistake.
压制 hhjie
我要给她一次热烈浪漫的体验 I need to give her a hot, romantic experience
就像我们的新婚之夜 Like I did on our wedding night.
我有点紧张 I'm a little nervous.
别担心 我会照顾好你的 Don't worry. You're in good hands.
我们要找辆车挂上这些 We need something to tie these to!
总监 Bunny
买了一辆面包车 Buying the van --
你们的新婚之夜就是这么度过的 That's how you spent your wedding night?
是啊 Yep.
今年 我要再次施展魔法 And this year, I'm gonna re-create the magic
带她去买第二辆车 By taking her shopping for a second car.
妈妈绝不会去的 Mom's never gonna go for that.
她讨厌花钱 She hates spending money.
但她知道我们还需要一辆车 But she knows we need another car,
她爱死了讨价还价 And she loves negotiating.
感谢海外录制人员
还有一个选择 Just to throw out another option --
如果我告诉你 有一种交通方式 What if I told you there was a mode of transportation
更加便宜也更有趣 That is cheaper and way more fun?
你们想要来一点消暑零食吗 You kids want a summertime treat?
热狗太热了 It's too hot for hot dogs.
是吗 Is it?
哇 是热狗冲浪板 Whoa! It's the hot dogger!
你最爱的食物 也是最爱的玩具哦 Now your favorite food is your favorite toy!
你负责奉上你的圆屁屁 You supply the buns!
我们不会买的 We're not getting that.
别担心 这辆全新的1995年 Don't worry. You guys will be nice and cool
装有空调的豪华版香槟珍珠色雅阁 In the air-conditioned luxury of this glamorous baby --
会令你们异常开心与凉快 A brand-new 1995 honda accord in champagne pearl,
这是中性色调中最优雅的颜色 The most elegant color in the neutral rainbow.
所以你宁愿买一辆无趣的车吗 So you'd rather get a boring car?
你知道谁不认为雅阁无趣吗 You know who doesn't think accords are boring?
你们的英雄 大鲨鱼 Your hero -- shaq.
没错 That's right.
我要带你们妈妈去沙奎尔·奥尼尔汽车店 I'm taking your mom down to shaquille o'neal motors.
为什么大鲨鱼要卖自己坐不进去的车 Why is shaq selling a car he can't even fit into?
那就和我们一起去问问他 Come along and ask him.
老爸 他才不会在店里 Dad, he's not gonna be there.
是授权交易 It's a licensing deal.
给汽车公司一笔钱 They paid the diesel a bunch of money
把他的名字涂在某个地方 To slap his name on something.
《功夫鲨鱼》 "Shaq fu."
路易斯 拜托 Louis, please.
今年可别买纪念礼物 No anniversary presents thisr.
我们就回家给植物浇浇水吧 Let's just go back inside and water the plants.
不行 会很棒的 相信我 No, it's gonna be great. Trust me.
再见 孩子们 听奶奶的话 Bye, boys. Listen to grandma.
女王大人 M'lady.
啊 Ugh!
只是些洋葱圈屑 Some old funyuns.
浪漫之旅即将启程 The romance is just beginning.
别等我们了 可能要几个小时才回来 Don't wait up, boys. We'll be gone for hours.
派对时间到咯 Sounds like it's time to party.
埃迪 #Eddie
致：埃迪 日期：今天 时间：现在 地点：前院
你也拿到了 嗯 You got one, too? Mm-hmm.
洗发水 Shampoo?
我不想空手赴宴 I don't want to show up empty-handed.
好吧 Okay.
额哦 麻烦们来了 Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.
呜啦啦 飘柔洗发水 Ooh-la-la. Pert plus!
谢谢 Thank you!
我们俩送的 It bothf us.
什么声音 What's this noise?
埃迪 埃默里 Eddie, emery,
给你们介绍 小懒 小跳 小能 I want you to meet oinker, frisky, can-do,
蒂娜·范 花生 侦探 派和瓦力 Tina pham, peanut, shamus, pi, and wally-wally.
你们好 埃文 我 Hello! Evan, I --
等等 这些是豆豆宝宝吗 Stop. Are those beanie babies?
嗯 Yes.
它们是 小懒 小跳 小能 蒂娜·范 Meet oinker, frisky, can-do, tina pham,
花生 侦探 派和瓦力 Peanut, shamus, pi, and wally-wally.
你也知道它们吗 我收集了不少 You know these things? I collect them.
我有全部的豆豆宝宝 I have all of these,
除了那个有个烂标签的看上去很无聊的独角兽 Except that boring-looking unicorn with the tattered label.
不过既然我们是朋友 But since we're friends,
我可以替你要了这赔钱货 I could take him off your hands for you.
多少 十块 For, wha like $10?
才十块 这些可是限量版 $10? Those are limited editions.
卖场的可是 Pocolltibles at the mall
会出大价钱买下来的的 Would pay a fortune for these.
好吧 现在才十点 我们已经气饱了 Well, it's 10:00 a.M. And we already got beef.
嗯 先走了 Hmm! Excuse us.
-你为什么要说出来 -我不知道 就这样脱口而出了 - Why did you say that? - I don't know, it just cam out.
以后说话前先过脑子 You better think befor you speak.
路易斯 我们这是去哪 Louis, where are we going?
路易斯 你知道我不喜欢惊喜 Louis, I n't like sises.Ng?Ow
对不起 我忘了带钥匙 Sorry! I just forgot my keys!
惊喜吧 Surprise!
可怜的米奇 Poor mitch.
那天还是他高等专科学校的毕业日 That was the day of his junior-college graduation.
我们到了 Ah, hee are.
沙奎尔·奥尼尔汽车店 Shaquille o'neal motors.
惊喜吧 Surprise!
沙奎尔·奥尼尔汽车店 #Shaquille o'neal motors.
我知道你在想什么 但是别担心 I know what you're thinking, but don't worry.
我们负担得起 We can affor
还有 你能够尽情讨价还价 Plus, you get to negotiate --
像我们新婚之夜那样 Just like on our wedding night.
结婚纪念日快乐 Happy anniversary.
嘿 Hey!
嗨 我叫克拉克 Hi. My name's clark.
欢迎来到大鲨鱼汽车店 我能帮你些什么 Welcome to shaq motors. How can I help you?
你好 我是路易斯 Hello. I'm louis.
我和我妻子想买一辆新车 My wife and I are in the market for a new car.
太棒了 路易斯 That's wonderful, louis.
那你可爱的妻子在哪儿呢 Now, where is your lovely wife today?
我知道 I know, I know.
-她看上去像我女儿 -好吧 She looks like my daughter. Uh, okay.
我想说的是我没有看见有谁跟你一起来 What I'm trying to say is I don't see anyone with you.
什么 What?
杰西卡 Jessica?
她去哪儿了 Where'd she go?
妻子们哈 Wives, huh?
她们不会因为六个月免费防盗系统而来 太可惜了 TOO BAD THEY DON'T COME WITH SIX MONTHS OF FREE LoJack,
像所有大鲨鱼汽车店的车一样 Like all the cars do here at shaq motors.
耶 Yeah.
我到处找你 I've been looking all over for you.
我一转身你就不见了 I turned away for one second and you were gone.
怎么了 我不得不离开那里 What happened? I had to get out of there.
我需要在安静的地方喝一杯 I just needed to get a drink someplace quiet
不想被人打扰 Where I wouldn't be bothered.
一般在酒吧 Usually when I'm at a bar,
我周围都是犹太男子 但是这儿就没有 不知道为什么 Jewish guys are all over me, but not here for some reason.
这个臭男人是不是骚扰你 This set of testicles bothering you?
没有 黛比 他是我丈夫 No, deb. He's just my husband.
路易斯 坐 Louis, sit down.
我有些事必须跟你讲 There's something I need to tell you.
哦 那种谈话吗[意指出柜谈话] Ooh, that conversation.
你们需要再来点小吃 You're gonna need more chex mix.
我没有完全对你说实话 I haven't been completely honest with you
关于我们的新婚之夜的 About our wedding night.
黄先生和黄太太 Mr. And mrs. Huang,
我们协商了个把小时 We've been negotiating for hours.
我再让两百块 I'll knock off another $200,
但是我只能让步这么多了 But that's the best I can do.
我接受你的让步 I accept your defeat.
这几个字多好看啊 How good does that look?
杰西卡·黄 她是我太太 Jessica huang. That's my wife.
我去给我们的新车热热身 I'm gonna go warm up our new van.
多美妙的晚上 What a night!
不要悲伤 Don't feel bad.
你可以告诉你的长子 You'll be able to tell your firstborn
曾经和高手过招 That you tangled with the best.
我的长子是你留剩给我的 My firstborn is about all you left me with.
这个价钱和那些脚垫 That and the floor mats.
再说一遍 你刚才说了什么 Repeat that now, what you just said.
看这儿 看到了 Oh, right here. See?
你没有勾选赠送的脚垫 You opted out of the optional floor-mat option.
不 No.
就这个 That's it?
路易斯 我搞砸了 Louis, I blew it!
免费的脚垫 Free floor mats!
经销商都会附赠的 That's the one thing dealers always throw in,
我竟然漏掉了 And I missed it!
错失了最重要的细节 I overlooked the most basic detail!
你太过激了 只是脚垫而已嘛 You're overreacting. It was just floor mats.
不 不只是脚垫 是我们的新婚之夜啊 No, it wasn't just floor mats. It was our wedding night.
是我们作为一对已婚夫妇一起做的第一件事 It was the first thing that we did as a married couple,
而我把它搞砸了 And I messed it up.
每年这个时候 我都会被迫想起 And every year, I'm forced to think about it.
所以我们应该怎么办 So, what are wes?
再也不买新车了吗 Just never get a new car ever again?
如果你想要车的话 就去买吧 If you want a car, get a car.
但是我再也不能迈过那些自动玻璃门 But I can't walk through those automatic glass doors again
提醒着我人生中最大的错误 And be reminded of the biggest mistake of my life.
好吧 Well...
你忘不了脚垫 You remember floor mats,
我忘不了我们第一次一起签下我们的名字 I remember the first time we signed our names together.
说出来了 你就成功了 Band-aid's off, ney. You did it.
我从83年起就对丁丁免疫了 Wiener-free since '83.
你在干吗 What are y?
我想到给我们弄一个热狗冲浪板的办法了 I figured out a way to get us the hot dogger.
我们去商场把这些卖了 We take these down to the mall and we sell them.
我不知道 I don't know.
埃文会同意吗 Do you think Evan's gonna be okay with this?
他说没关系 我刚才问过他了 He's fine with it. I already asked him.
嗨 埃文 我能不能卖掉你的豆宝宝 Hey, evan, can I sell your beanie babies
用得来的钱买一个热狗冲浪板 And use the money to buy a hot dogger?
行呀 这主意不错 埃迪 Yeah, that's a great idea, eddie.
我之前为什么没想到这个呢 Why didn't I think of that?
你加一个好运的墨痣
棒呆了 走 冲浪去 Awesome. Let's do it.
好哒 走走走 Okay, come on.
好吧 虽然不是我之前构想的样子 Well, it wasn't how I planned it,
但我去到那自己买了车 正如你所希望的 But I went and got the car by myself like you wanted me to.
这些花竟然是真的 These are real.
你这是干嘛 What's going on?
我想要跟你道歉 I wanted to apologize.
其实你也不知道我是什么想法 You had no way of knowing how I felt,
你也只是好心 想办好事 And you were jusying to do something nice.
好吧 我当时也不应该就这样走开 Well, I shouldn't have walked out.
是的 你不应该 最后还是黛比载我回家的 No, you shouldn't have. Deb had to drive me home.
我和她的焊接器材一起坐在车后座 I sat in the back with her welding equipment.
她真是心灵手巧 她老公真幸运 She's very handy. Her husband is lucky.
来吧 我带你去看看咱们的新车 Come on. Let me show you the new car.
#耶# # yeah #
我不得不说 路易斯 这真是台好车 I have to say, louis, this is a fine machine.
这纯色光泽真是高贵 The neutral luster is so elegant.
香槟珍珠色 Champagne pearl?
好眼光 Good eye.
来看这个 这扇门 And check this out -- the door...
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方便 Convenient!
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多一辆车能让我们的生活轻松很多啊 A second car is going to make our lives so much easier.
告诉我 是用个实惠价钱买来的么 Tell me... did you get a good deal?
我买的可实惠了 我买的是那个价钱 I got a great deal. I got that deal.
直接按标价付的钱 一分钱都没多付 Paid sticker price and not a penny more.
我很抱歉你们对这辆车并不满意 I'm sorry to hear you're unhappy with the car.
但你们也知道 我们提供 But, you know, we stand by
二十四小时的客户满意保证服务 That 24-hour shaq-isfaction guarantee.
我们也很抱歉 And we are sorry
我们并不喜欢这样烧钱 That we don't feel like lighting money on fire.
按标价卖的吗 你真丢脸 克拉克 Sticker price? Shame, clark.
真丢脸 Shame.
祝贺 你还是做到了 Congratulations. You did it.
你欢呼个什么 What do you mean?
他们必须得遵守他们的退货政策 They have to honor their return policy.
不 你说过你不会再进汽车经销店了 No, you said you could never go in another dealership again.
可你刚刚就迈进了那些自动玻璃门内 But you just walked through those automatic glass doors.
那是因为我得去退 Only because I had to return a car
一辆你花了太多钱买来的车 它... That you paid way too much money for, which...
它是你故意买来的 就为了让我来这儿 You did on purpose to get me down here.
我们再进去一次吧 Let's do this again.
而这次 我们不会再漏掉任何一个细节 And this time, we won't miss a detail.
噢 我的天啊 你还好么 Oh, my god. Are you all right?
你需要什么救助吗 Did some savin?
不用 No.
我们想要买下那辆车 We'd like to buy that car...
再买一次 Again.
是买回你们刚退的那辆车么 So you wanna buy back the car you just returned?
-没错 -退货的顾客都后悔了 That's right. Returner's remorse.
在沙奎尔·奥尼尔汽车店 我们经常会遇到这情况 We get that all the time at shaquille o'neal motors.
开过一次鲨鱼车 别的汽车算什么 Once you go shaq, you don't go back.
所以 你知道么 So, you know what?
我不会撕碎这张你给我的支票 让我们来... I won't shred this check you gave me, and we'll just --
这张支票是用来买新车的 This check was for a new car.
-那辆车被用过了 -是啊 被你们用的 That car is used. Yeah, by you.
可我们并不知道在过去的五分钟里 那辆车有没什么变化 We don't know what's happened to it in the last five minutes.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
所以我们要跟你的经理谈 We want to talk to your manager.
最高级别的员工才有资格开个好价钱 The top guy's the only one who can authorize a better deal.
好吧 你们很走运 因为我就是那个最高级别的员工 Well, you're in luck because I'm the top guy here.
你是最高经理嘛 You're the top manager?
还在大堂工作 还一口那样的牙 Working the floor? With those teeth?
我就是最高经理 That's me.
那行 看样子克拉克想陪我们玩玩儿 Okay, looks like clark wants to dance.
我们想用你的车进行一次试驾 We want to take your car for a test-drive.
可你们刚就把车开回来了啊 But you just drove it here.
那是当那辆车还是新车时候的试驾 Well, that was when it was a new car.
我们并不知道那辆车有没发生什么事 在过去的 We don't know what's happened to it in the last...
六分钟内 Six minutes.
是时候修理那些玫瑰丛了 Time to knock back the roses.
哇吼 Whoo-hoo!
热狗冲浪板 Hot dogger!
喔喔 Whoo!
吓死宝宝了 The hell?!
-来玩嘛 -好呀 Get in here! Okay!
我不敢相信老爸终于给我们买了热狗冲浪板 I can't believe dad finally got us the hot dogger!
不是老爸买的 是我们买的 Dad didn't buy it. We did.
用你的豆宝宝卖的钱买的 With the money we got selling your beanie babies.
再重复一遍 你刚刚说的话 Repeat that now, what you just said.
你说过你同意卖掉它们的 记得吗 You said you were cool with it. Remember?
在你给奶奶画肖像画的时候 It was when you were painting grandma.
嗨 埃文 我能不能卖掉你的豆宝宝们 Hey, evan, can I sell your beanie babies
用得来的钱买一个热狗冲浪板 And use the money to buy a hot dogger?
行呀 这个主意不错 埃迪 Yeah, that's a great idea, eddie.
我之前为什么没想到这个呢 Why didn't I think of that?
听到了没 月亮的人 他竟然同意了 Hear that, moon man? He's cool with it!
应该发音成 月亮人 那些月亮人 It's pronounced "Moonman" -- les moonman.
你们再吵 我要去滑溜梯了
哦 那肯定是个梦 Ohh. It must have been a dream.
一个梦 A dream?!
我有好几个月没有画过奶奶了 I haven't painted grandma in months!
可我们现在有了热狗冲浪板 But now we have the hot dogger!
那是我们都想要的 That's what we all wanted!
比那些傻逼毛绒填充动物要好多了 So much better than dumb stuffed animals.
他们才不是傻逼毛绒填充动物 They weren't dumb stuffed animals.
他们是我的朋友 They were my friends.
我是为大家这么做的 I did it for us!
我真生你的气 埃迪 我要去冥想了 I'm so mad at you, eddie.I have to go meditate.
早上好 贪睡的大头鬼 Good morning, sleepy head.
你刚刚打呼噜了 You were snoring.
呃 不好意思 我从没在试驾中睡着过 Uh, sorry. I've never fallen asleep on a test-drive before.
我们在哪儿 Where are we?
你自己看吧 See for yourself.
这些集装箱装的都是1996年的本田雅阁 Those containers are full of 1996 honda accords.
难道我们在坦帕市的港口 We're at the docks in tampa?
这有一个半小时的车程啊 That's an hour and a half away!
每年的这时候都特别美 It is beautiful this time of year.
每到车型年份年末时 The end of the model year,
你们就得清理掉那些九五年的车型 WHEN YOU NEED TO CLEAR OUT THE '95s
来给九六年车型让位置 TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE '96s.
公司呼叫了我十三次 Work paged me 13 times!
我老板一定会灭了我的 My boss is gonna kill me.
哦 你老板吗 我以为你才是老板呢 Oh, your boss? I thought you were the manager
好好好 没错 我有个上司 Okay, fine, yeah. I have a manager.
他现在肯定会想和你们谈一谈了 You can bet he's gonna want to talk to you two.
完美 因为我们也想跟你老板谈一谈 Perfect, because we want to talk to your manager.
好吧 我听说你们两个和克拉克的试驾之旅很特别啊 Well, I heard you two had quite the test drive with clark.
我了解了所有情况 I-I've reviewed everything,
而我能提供的最低价是两万一千美元 And the lowest I can go is $21,000.
也许是你能提供的最低价吧 The lowest you can go, maybe.
但我们想跟你们经理谈谈 We want to talk to your manager.
我就是经理啊 I am the manager.
-克拉克也说过这句话 -这个吗 你要相信我 我就是 That's what clark said. Well, I assure you I am.
而这也是你们能得到的最低价 And this is the best price you're gonna get.
真闪亮的姓名牌呀 Very shiny nameplate.
所以要么你是个洁癖狂 So either you're a neat freak,
可我知道你不是 因为你衬衫上还有莎莎酱 Which I know you're not by the salsa stains on your shirt,
要么这姓名牌还太新 没有积尘 Or it hasn't had time to collect dust
因为你才来这里不过几个月 Because you've only been here a few months,
这怎么可能让你成为整个车行的最高经理呢 Making it unlikely you're the highest manager.
我能说什么呢 我就是一个喜欢多酱墨西哥卷饼的天才青年 What can I say? I'm a wunderkind who likes wet burritos.
而这个天才青年还需要一个便条贴 And who still needs a reminder
提醒自己按九号键接外线电话吗 To dial 9 to get an outside line?
好吧 威廉让我赶过来了 Well, william got me up to speed.
现在 我已经了解了所有情况 Now, I've reviewed everything,
而我能提供的最低价是两万五千美元 And the lowest I can go is $25,000.
噢 Oh.
冷战是咩 哼 The silent treatment, huh?
听着 那对我可不管用 Well, it's not gonna work on me.
我是冷战长大的 I thrive on silence.
今天晚饭吃什么?!
冰箱里面还有汤
麻烦那别吵架了好吗 Please stop fighting.
你们吓到了其他顾客们 You're scaring the other customers.
两万美元是我能提供的最低价 $20,000 is the lowest I can go.
天气很好
真的是
你能穿夹克 但是你不需要
好吧 兰迪让我过来了 还告诉了我 Well, randy filled me in here, and told me --
你就是我们带去坦帕的那个男生 You're the boy we took to tampa.
但戴了一个假胡子而已 But with a mustache.
我告诉过他们会被看出来的 你们造么 I told them it wouldn't work, you know?
穿帮了 伙计们 It didn't work, guys!
我们到此为止吧 Let's just end this.
真是漫长的一天 我累了 你们也累了 It's been a long day. I'm tired. You're tired.
老娘才不会累 I'm not tired.
刚刚你讲话的时候我就已经睡了会儿觉 I just took a nap right now while you were talking.
睁着眼睛睡的 With my eyes open.
你们瞧 我 一万九千美元是我的极限了 Look, I -- $19,000 is the best I can do.
我已经把所有我能免费的东西都加进去了 I've thrown in everything that I can.
包括车内脚垫吗 Including floor mats?
是的 我再说第一百万遍 包括车内脚垫 Yes, for the millionth time, including floor mats.
你们同意这价格了么 Do we have a deal?
噢 亲爱的 你做到了 Oh, honey. You did it.
路易斯 要谢谢你 Louis, thank you.
这是最好的一份结婚周年礼物 This was the best anniversary present ever.
有什么问题吗 你为什么在出汗 Is something wrong? Why are you sweating?
呃 因为空调坏掉了 Uh, the air-conditioner's broken.
那扇门通向哪里 Where does that door go to --
那扇脱漆的门 The one with the peeling paint?
什么 它是个 呃 储藏柜而已 What? It's aup-- supply closet.
在最高经理的办公室里竟然有个储藏柜 A supply closet in a top manager's office?!
打开它 Open it.
为什么 那 那里面可无聊了 Why?! It -- it's boring in there!
我们想跟你的经理谈一谈 We want to talk to your manager!
可我就是经理啊 I am the manager!
算了吧 Forget it!
这报价作废了 The offer is off the table.
你们刚刚搞砸了一生中最值的一次交易 You just blew the deal of a lifetime
因为你们不能得 'cause you can't get --
呃 嗯哼 Uh, mm-hmm.
是 是的 Y-yes.
是 Yes.
好 好的 Y-yes.
呃 Uh...
我的经理想跟你们谈谈 My manager would like to speak with you.
#耶# # yeah #
沙奎尔·奥尼尔 Shaquille o'neal.
祝贺你们 Congratulations.
从来没有人能走到这一步 No one has ever made it this far.
你是最终的老板 You are the final manager.
是的 我就是 Yes, I am.
每一辆从这里卖出去的车我都会一个个签字 I sign off on every car that comes through this place.
我意识到如果我把我名字放在商品上面 I realized that if I put my name on a product,
我就得为它做保证 I got to stand by it.
《功夫鲨鱼》：奥尼尔在1994年亲身参与制作的游戏 号称史上最烂格斗游戏
我们不想再来一个《功夫鲨鱼》 We don't want another... "Shaq fu."
来看看我最近刚刚拒绝的一项代言 Check out the latest endorsement I just had to reject --
鲨舌兰酒 Shaq-uila.
很好 篮球形状的鲨舌兰酒 Nice. Basketball-shaped tequila.
这个主意已经过时了 It seemed like a good idea at the time.
额 说到篮球 Uh, speaking of basketball,
这一赛季不是几个星期后就要开始了吗 Doesn't the season start in a couple weeks?
-噢对啊 -我的意思是 Oh, yeah. I mean...
你本人看上去更胖一点 You look a lot bigger in person.
好吧 你是还没见过查理斯·巴克利的大屁股 Well, wait till you see charles barkley's fat ass.
为了减肥我中午只吃两顿好吗 I just have to skip third lunch.
我发誓不用一会儿我就能恢复身材 I'll snap right back into shape.
好吧 篮球的话题到此为止 我们来谈谈生意吧 Okay, enough basketball sports. Let's talk business.
是的 我听到了你和弗雷德的谈话 Yes, I heard you and freddie talking behind the wall.
我表示很感兴趣 所以 我决定 I'm very impressed, and for that,
给你们少五百块 价格改为一万八千五 I'll give you $500 off -- $18,500.
一万一千 $18,100.
一万四千 $18,400.
一万两千 再加免费洗车一年 $18,200 and free car washes for a year.
一万两千五百 $18,250...
送你们一对挂在后视镜上的毛茸茸骰子 And a pair of fuzzy dice for the rearview mirror.
成交 Deal.
可以放开我的手吗 女士 Let go of my hand, lady.
还有一件小事 Just one more thing.
你拿到大鲨鱼的亲笔签名了 You got shaq's autograph?!
还是签在他的大球鞋上的 On his big shoe.
但是 我 我不能 不 等等 我 耶 But I -- I can't -- no, wait. I -- yeah.
我必须要冷静下来 我不能被这个冲昏了头脑 I got to calm this down. I got to calm this mess down.
噢 我们本来打算带你去见他的 Oh, we'd take you to meet him,
但是他刚刚赶去处理 But he just left to clean up
纳什维尔汽车公司那边的乱子了 A big mess at shaq motors nashville.
一些浣熊跑到花冠车里去了 Some raccoons got into the corollas.
说的没错 大鲨鱼对动物很在行的 That makes sense. Shaq is great with animals.
但至少我得到这家伙了 At least I still got this tank!
我要拿给埃默里和埃文看 I can't wait to show Emery and evan!
你知道吗 不用多少年之后 You know, a few years from now,
你就可以把这玩意卖出一个很高的价格 You can sell that thing for a lot of money.
这和钱无关 It's not about the money.
我永远不会卖了它的 I'd never sell this shoe.
它对我来说意义... It means way too much...
重大 To me.
快把你的屁屁挪出来
我的豆宝宝们 My beanie buddies!
小懒 蒂娜 Oinker! Tina!
我知道要你卖掉这双鞋很痛苦 I know it was hard selling that shoe,
但是你做了正确的事 But you did the right thing.
你是一个好哥哥 You're a good brother.
我曾经拥有过它 I had it in my hand.
我把我整张脸埋在里面过 I fit my entire face inside of it.
它闻上去像披萨一样 It smelled like pizza.
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我爱死这辆车了 I love this car.
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没有像我们这样得到这么多折扣的 And no one made any money off of it.
所以 我会去把垃圾油扔掉 So, I'll take the grease to the dump
然后 把埃迪送到训练场 And then drop eddie off at practice.
而我会带着埃文和埃默里去商店 And I'll take evan and emery to the store,
接着我们到医生那里接奶奶 Then we'll pick up grandma from the hand surgeon.
这辆车太好了 我舍不得开 This car is too nice to drive.
我们还是挤一挤旧车吧 Let's just all just jam in the van.
大家都坐下来吧 everyone Take a knee.
我们今天输了 输得一塌糊涂 We took a loss today, and there's no way around it.
今天 他们的确比我们强 Today, they were better than us.
但是你们知道吗 But you know what?
这只是一辆车而已 That's only one car.
在外面 停着三百八十七辆新车和二手车 Out there, there are 387 more new and pre-owned cars,
每一辆都期盼着被领回一个温暖如家的车库里 Each one of them looking for a warm garage to call home.
谁会把他们领走呢 Who's gonna get them home?
是你吗 芭芭拉 Is it you, barbara?
雷迪 威廉姆 弗雷德 Randy? William? Freddie?
事实证明 弗雷德 你被开除了 滚出去 As a matter of fact, freddie, you're fired. Get out.
快滚出去 弗雷德 Get out, freddie!
好吧 Okay.
我开玩笑的 弗雷德 你快坐 I'm just playing, freddie. Sit down.
坐下 我只是开玩笑 好吧 Sit down. I'm just playing. Okay.
但是 讲真 你们必须要团结一致 But seriously, you've got to get your ass together.
听着 我知道我现在在干嘛 Listen -- I believe in what we're doing here,
我相信你们也知道 And I know you do, too.
搞清楚你们在为谁做买卖 Remember who you sell for.
记住绣在你们工作服 Remember the name that's embroidered
前面的名字 沙奎尔 On the front of your shirts -- shaquille...
沙奎尔 Shaquille.
奥尼尔 奥尼尔 ...o'neal... ...o'neal...
汽车 汽车 ...motor cars. ...motor cars.
现在大家一起说 Now say it together.
沙奎尔·奥尼尔汽车 Shaquille o'neal motor cars.
谢谢大家 Thank you.
把这该死的门弄高点 Raise this damn door!